儿童教育指南-第50章
第49章 亲友的态度
儿童教育指南-第50章
chap. 49 - Attitude of Relatives
儿童教育指南-第50章
亲友的溺爱是一个大问题－－要慎防把管理儿女的责任转给别人。谁也不能合法地解除上帝所交托的责任。亲友们对家庭管理的干预，使许多儿童完全毁了。母亲决不可让自己的姊妹或母亲来干涉她们对儿女的智慧管理。母亲虽然接受过自己母亲最好的教育，但十有八九外婆的溺爱和不智的赞许会将外孙们宠坏。这种做法可能使母亲所有耐心的努力全归无效。众所周知，一般不宜由祖父母来教养孙子孙女。人们理所当然应对父母表现出尊敬和服从。但在对待儿女的事上，他们不该让任何人来干预，而要将管理的缰绳掌握在自己的手中。（一）{CG 288.1}[1]
儿童教育指南-第50章
Indulgent Relatives Are a Problem.--Be careful how you relinquish the government of your children to others. No one can properly relieve you of your God-given responsibility. Many children have been utterly ruined by the interference of relatives or friends in their home government. Mothers should never allow their sisters or mothers to interfere with the wise management of their children. Though the mother may have received the very best training at the hands of her mother, yet, in nine cases out of ten, as a grandmother she would spoil her daughter's children, by indulgence and injudicious praise. All the patient effort of the mother may be undone by this course of treatment. It is proverbial that grandparents, as a rule, are unfit to bring up their grandchildren. Men and women should pay all the respect and deference due to their parents; but in the matter of the management of their own children, they should allow no interference, but hold the reins of government in their own hands. {CG 288.1}[1]
儿童教育指南-第50章
他们笑对无礼和发怒时－－我无论到哪里，看见疏忽正确的家庭教育和约束的现象就感到心痛。人们允许小孩子对大人顶嘴，表现出不恭与无礼，说出小孩子不该对长辈说的话。让儿女说这类不合适话语的父母，比儿女的罪责更重。不可容忍孩子的无礼，连一次也不可以。可是父亲母亲们，叔伯姑婶们和祖父祖母们却笑对一岁孩子的脾气。他含糊不清的不恭之话，以及幼稚的固执，都被视为乖巧。错误的习惯就这样养成了。孩子长大以后为周围的人所讨厌。（二）{CG 288.2}[2]
儿童教育指南-第50章
When They Laugh at Disrespect and Passion.-- Wherever I go, I am pained by the neglect of proper home discipline and restraint. Little children are allowed to answer back, to manifest disrespect and impertinence, using language that no child should ever be permitted to address to its superiors. Parents who permit the use of unbecoming language are more worthy of blame than their children. Impertinence should not be tolerated in a child even once. But fathers and mothers, uncles and aunts and grandparents laugh at the exhibition of passion in the little creature of a year old. Its imperfect utterance of disrespect, its childish stubbornness, are thought cunning. Thus wrong habits are confirmed, and the child grows up to be an object of dislike to all around him. {CG 288.2}[2]
儿童教育指南-第50章
他们妨碍正确的纠正时－－我为母亲们特别担忧，因为我看见到她们十分盲目，感觉不到作母亲的责任。她们看到撒但在一个几个月大的任性孩子身上作工，便满心怨恨，似乎撒但已掌管了一切。在这个家中可能有祖母，姑母或其他亲友，竭力使父母相信纠正孩子就是虐待他。其实情况完全相反。若是让撒但控制这个幼弱无助的孩子，那才是对他最大的虐待。要斥责撒但，打破他控制儿童的权势。如果需要纠正，就当忠心认真地实行。上帝的慈爱和真诚怜惜儿童之心，必使人忠实地履行职责。（三）{CG 289.1}[3]
儿童教育指南-第50章
When They Discourage Proper Correction.--I tremble especially for mothers, as I see them so blind, and feeling so little the responsibilities that devolve upon a mother. They see Satan working in the self-willed child of even but a few months of age. Filled with spiteful passion, Satan seems to be taking full possession. But there may be in the house perhaps a grandmother, an aunt, or some other relative or friend, who will seek to make that parent believe that it would be cruelty to correct that child; whereas just the opposite is true; and it is the greatest cruelty to let Satan have the possession of that tender, helpless child. Satan must be rebuked. His hold on the child must be broken. If correction is needed, be faithful, be true. The love of God, true pity for the child, will lead to the faithful discharge of duty. {CG 289.1}[3]
儿童教育指南-第50章
大家庭的麻烦－－一个或两三个彼此有姻亲关系的家庭，聚居在数里范围之内，并非上策，其影响对各个家庭都不好。往往个人的事成了大家的事。每个家庭所免不了的、本应尽量限于自家之内的、或多或少的困惑与难题；却延及有姻亲关系的各家中，也影响到宗教的聚会。有些事情是不该叫第三个人知道的，不拘与那人有多么友善亲密的关系。个人和家庭应当承担这些事。可是常常因有亲属关系的家庭如此亲密地交往，便损及各个家庭所当保持的尊严。在执行督责和劝诫的微妙义务时，若不以极大的亲切慎重行事，就会有伤害情感的危险。连品格最优美的模范者，也易犯错误与过失，所以应该格外慎重，以免有小事闹大之弊。{CG 289.2}[4]
儿童教育指南-第50章
Perplexities of a Family Community.--It is not the best policy for children of one, two, or three families that are connected by marriage to settle within a few miles of one another. The influence is not good on the parties. The business of one is the business of all. The perplexities and troubles which every family must experience more or less, and which, as far as possible, should be confined within the limits of the family circle, are extended to family connections and have a bearing upon the religious meetings. There are matters which should not be known to a third person, however friendly and closely connected he may be. Individuals and families should bear them. But the close relationship of several families, brought into constant intercourse, has a tendency to break down the dignity which should be maintained in every family. In performing the delicate duty of reproving and admonishing, there will be danger of injuring feelings, unless it be done with the greatest tenderness and care. The best models of character are liable to errors and mistakes, and great care should be exercised that too much is not made of little things. {CG 289.2}[4]
儿童教育指南-第50章
这种家庭和教会的关系对天性感情来说是非常愉快的；然而若予全面考虑，这对于培养匀称的基督化品格却非上策。……各个家庭若分居各处，偶尔相访，就会更加快乐，彼此之间的良好影响也会加增十倍。{CG 290.1}[5]
儿童教育指南-第50章
Such family and church relationship . . . is very pleasant to the natural feelings; but it is not the best, all things considered, for the development of symmetrical Christian characters. . . . All parties would be much happier to be separated and to visit occasionally, and their influence upon one another would be tenfold greater. {CG 290.1}[5]
儿童教育指南-第50章
由于婚姻关系而联合一起的这些家庭，会因时时彼此交接，使各人都觉察到对方的缺点与过失，而认为自己有义务矫正之。正因为这些亲属们彼此切实相爱，他们也常常会因微不足道的事情而担忧，如果没有这么密切的关系，就不会注意到这些琐碎的事了。有人或要忍受极大的精神上的痛苦，因为心中觉得没有得着公平的待遇，没有得到当得的体谅。有时也会产生小小的妒忌之念，以致小丘变为泰山、小题大作。这些细小的误会与微末的分歧，往往造成比从其他方面来的困难更大的精神痛苦。（四）{CG 290.2}[6]
儿童教育指南-第50章
United as these families are by marriage, and mingling as they do in one another's society, each is awake to the faults and errors of the others, and feels in duty bound to correct them; and because these relatives are really dear to one another, they are grieved over little things that they would not notice in those not so closely connected. Keen sufferings of mind are endured, because feelings will arise with some that they have not been treated impartially, and with all that consideration which they deserved. Petty jealousies sometimes arise, and molehills become mountains. These little misunderstandings and petty variances cause more severe suffering of mind than do trials that come from other sources. {CG 290.2}[6]
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